Thursday, February 16, 2006 // Thursday, February 16, 2006
think i'm dreading band more and more..wish tat i could step down soon...well it's lyke lesser and lesser ppl are turning up for band practice..tis cause gz to be very unhappy abt it and he keeps showing me his black face..sectionals today! i hate sectionals..i practice fer a while then enter into my own lala land but i manage to return at 5 sharp..at least i did attempt to practice ..i received an e card frm nic fer valentine..really nice of him..i hestitate to blog abt tis thingy..i wanted to pen down everything tat happen last nitex but on the other hand i'm afraid tat i'm inviting unwanted feelings..anyway i tink my final decision is to record down everything..this is my blog and i'm supposed to be open to it..ystd things really got ugly..i couldn't concentrate in everything i was doing..i have to walk ard with a fake smile on my smile..be happy to receive valentine's gifts frm my frens..who really sees the pain tat is growing in my heart? u passed me the flowers on the bus..it was three red roses with a ger teddy bear..it was really beautiful and i lyke it alot..next time better dun lie to me tat u didn't buy any flowers to me..u are not a good lier..u say tat the money dun matters..i'm really glad tat u are willing to squeeze into the flower shop with so many other ppl just to get me a bouquet of flowers..thanks..next on we went to wcp. settle in one of the shelter..tink the flies haven't been eating fer a few days..they started looking ard fer preys..i turned out to be tat "lucky" prey..wanted to find an opportunity to give him the choco so i kept asking him whether he is hungry anot? he kept saying no and i had to force him to say tat he is hungry..quite a lousy gf i am..i completely forgotten tat he dun likes chocolates..but guess fer the sake of me, he ate it..he ate until tat piece of paper also..haha..i didn't know that it was that particular chocolate tat has a note contained in it..think he's really lucky coz jer dun seem to eat until it..wad a lucky boy u are..we then proceed to ginza to buy insect repellant n mac fer our dinner..settle at one of the shelters in clementi woods..he told me to look at the teddy bear neck and ask me wad is tat..obviously i noe wad it is..i have to play along and say i dunnoe..very sweetly, he wear it for me and...u noe i noe can already...it's my turn now.. i gave him the card first..it was really ugly..with 8 hearts in front.each containing a message..bet he doesn't noe it..wad really surprised me is tat he actually has the instinct to open the red heart tat has my name on it..how he noes it was in tat heart instead of the heart tat has his name on it? fate i guess..well surprises havben end..i continue to give him the couple's keychain..i hope he lykes it bcoz i simply lurve it..they are so cute with our names craved behind..well he's a little ignorant not knowing tat those are keychains..i even have to tell him how to use them..then he stupidly put the box away..think guys are really dumb..i have to tell him tat there's some more things in the box..he saw the photo hiding beneath the cushion..he says i have a motive in printing tat particular size..well he's quite smart to guess tat..i put the photo into his wallet and he gave me the ten dollar plastic heart he made..it was the second one he made for me..after tat dunnoe why he went back to the card, reading the messages in the 8 hearts..i rmb the last one vividly..it was a number code tat u have to check with ur handphone..he read out every single message loudly..i dunnoe whether he's touched anot? but i can hear his voice shaking a little and his eyes are teary..maybe i was too imaginative ba..i was touched by my own card actually..i have neva ever made chocolates and such a card fer someone before..my first..hope it didn't turned out worse..i was really worried tat it is ugly..tho the truth is that it was..but i really did my best..my nites are taken up by these..hope my efforts paid it off...well i cried..i hate you..it was due to tis phrase..it has been making its appearance in my mind every now and then..my heart really shattered..maybe not to the state where it's totally shattered to millions pieces..but at least it is a heart with cracks in between..at tat moment of time, tears could only express wad my heart wanted to say..i felt tat my efforts were rejected..all i did only turn out to exchange fer tis unwanted phrase..wad do u do when the only one that can make you stop crying, is the person who made you cry?maybe i was too overly emotional i shldn't have shed my tears..i swear tat i wldn't want to shed tears of sadness fer you anymore..i wan to shed tears of happiness instead..i'm alrite now..every tear i shed makes my heart grows stronger..i have learned..u need not need to feel gulity fer making me suffering or wad..i'm sure u isn't feeling any better than me..wadever it is, yesterday is really a beautiful nite..a nite to remember..a nite tat is a mixture of sorrows and happiness..thanks fer everything..
