Wednesday, June 20, 2007 // Wednesday, June 20, 2007
i'm getting more and more sick of work lately..the hours at the workplace are hard to pass..it's only after lunchtime, then it gets better..my work isn neither stressful nor is it tiring..i shld be grateful to get this kind of job, a job which so many ppl hope for..initially i felt fortunate to get this job but after sometime, doing all those documents filing and updating..the work seem to get boring..every start of each day, i'm already looking forward to the end of the day..i guess it's the money that keeps me going...how materialistic i can be..however, work did help me alot..because of working, i earn alittle more..sufficient for me to buy expensive tops and get those luxury stuffs that i used to wan but can't get..it's also thru working then i realised money dun come easily..my transportation costs, my ezlink top up..i have to pay for all these..dun ever underestimate these costs, it can go up to a hundred bucks per month..and i barely earn up till a thousand each month :(i learn how to scrape and save...rite now, i'm most concern abt the SIM admission..i'm afraid that i might be rejected and i'm also worried over the fact that i'm unable to pay the university costs..my mummy has alr told me beforehand that if i'm unable to get a loan from the bank..i will have to go working for a few years..it's something that i really dun wan to..i hope i cld get the loan and just graduate..going to SIM is not a shame...but somehow i feel shameful abt tellin ppl that i'm going dere..tat's the reason why i dun wan to meet up with my frens..the reason why i dun really wan to go speech day to get asked by my teachers..why do i have so many worries at such a young age? i used the word young, hm maybe not..i feel that i'm getting older and older each day..my every decision is able to affect my path towards my future..one wrong decision cld make me land to nowhere..i'm afraid..as u grow older, u take up more responsibility as well..i dun like to be responsible for things that i do :) why can't i just stay at the age of eighteen foreva? hm maybe not, u have to make alot of decisions when ur 18th as well..maybe stay at the age of three years old..where ur parents pave ur future for u..a period where u can just play whole day without being reprimanded for not studying..where u wld not be blame for doing the wrong things.. where u can just cry to get wadever things u wan to..hm is my future bleak? why can't i see u?-leen-
